Living in Limbo

I had the absolute honor this past weekend to be in one of my best friend's wedding. It is the first wedding I had even been to since he "popped the question". I am always a sucker for weddings, but this one was different, not only was she stunning in her white gown, she was becoming a wife, something I  think am so looking forward to! We got through the ceremony, made it to the reception, ate, drank, then at about this moment --> it hit me, I am living in LIMBO!!!!

I love the bouquet toss, I think it is because I am competitive and I love free things. You should see me in the food court at the mall! It does not matter that I am a germ-a-phob, I will take any free food that they want to hand me ( this could coincide with my fat-kid tendencies). In the supermarket, I am a beast, passing people left and right, cutting people off, I am not sure why I believe I am forever on Supermarket Sweep, but I do and I think if I get to check-out lane 15 before the man in the wheeler, I have done my part. This being said, I love the bouquet toss, the thrill of flowers indicating when I will get married is exciting! I caught the bouquet at my brother's wedding when I was 7 and didn't get my first boyfriend until....well that is besides the point!

Glenn and I argued the bouquet toss for a while, he believed I should be allowed on the floor since "technically" I was the next one to be married. I told him I was not "single" anymore and that was forbidden.  He said I was never technically single and then laughed because he said I was now in limbo. No longer a single gal, but not yet a married lady. I think Britney Spears said it best, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman". Yes, I know you all now have that song in your head and Britney's sweet innocent face in your mind ( you are welcome).

So here I am, in limbo, it is a strange place to be in that involves cake tasting, dress shopping, guest list checking, venue looking, photographs taken and reflection and the past, the present and the near future. I am not yet a married woman, not really single, but still oh so competitive!

Adult Checklist

Owning a home has never been on my adult checklist, eating all 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins ice cream, absolutely! Eating brownie batter before you cook it ( I always felt like a deprived child for my mother not letting me consume raw eggs...), getting a puppy..duh!! But owning a home was never on my mind! This has been a HUGE step for Glenn and I, I like to joke with him that getting out of a mortgage is tougher than getting out of a marriage, so sad, but true! So we did it, we took the leap and officially have a mortgage.

My mom asked me today if it was different, I am not sure! I am still scared to hang things on the walls and am convinced bitchy neighbor is going to come out of the woodwork and yell at me for stealing her trashcan ( if you have not heard this story, let's grab a beer, it is fantastic!) But it is fun to the watch the boyfriend  fiance hang things on the walls and diligently water the ever-dying grass. It is like playing house, only with real things to break and real food to make ( I would give anything for my McFluffy maker I had as a kid....come to think of it, I see a theme of food in this post...SHOCKING). It is not the white picket fence that they show on TV, it is real life we are living and it is exciting and scary all at once.

Dad says there is always something to do around the house, which stinks because I feel as though Teen Mom is going to be interrupted by air filter changes and air conditioning problems, but I guess that should be added to my adult checklist...becoming an adult. Yep friends, I am making the transition to adulthood...as long as that  includes the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn Part 2!! Please come visit us soon....I think I hear Glenn calling....until next time!

First Dance Song Troubles....

Glenn and I don't have a "typical" dating story, we did not see each other in a crowded room, connect, people parted ways and we danced into the sunset. Nope, Glenn asked me out no less than 17 times, would call my big sister to find out where we were and what we were doing, would show up at coffee shops (which, I learned later, he HATES coffee) and come to events that we were attending. I have to give it to him, he is persistent! I didn't want to date him, I didn't really want a boyfriend, I am not good with boys, I am awkward and I wanted to conquer the world on my own... my big sister on the other hand, wanted something different for me. I am honestly not sure how Glenn and I started this "dating" thing. He would call me to go to dinner, I would refuse. So we don't have a first date spot, a funny awkward moment of me falling into his arms and more importantly...WE DON'T HAVE "OUR SONG"!!

This part of the whole "we don't have a typical dating story" has been stressing me out! What will we dance to? Sure, we have songs that remind us of a sorority function or a graduation party, but I truly don't think Usher's "Let it Burn" is an appropriate song for the most important day of our life. So my task has been to find our song, a song that touches us, that makes us think of one another, that inspires us to be better people. I will sit at my dining room table for hours on end YouTubing videos and lyrics, I will send these to him and his response is that these are not "our songs", but songs that you have been googling (true, but what am I to do???)

Yesterday we went to another venue to check out where we will celebrate our love ( haha, I love these types of sayings on websites), on our way home we were determined to find a song that suits us.  The best place to turn was country, we needed a song with enough sap that people will cry, but not "overly dramatic". The first song to play was, "History in the Making" by Darius Rucker. I, of course, cried while listening to the song, Glenn thought it was okay. The next song was "Drunk on You" by Luke Bryan, well, wouldn't you know it, I was crying again, telling Glenn how it was currently summertime and Luke was singing about summertime...needless to say we changed the channel to 101 The Beat Jams and called it a day.

I think this first dance song is going to be WAY more complicated than anticipated. I foresee a compilation of songs from 1947 until now that speak to us. I hope I am walking in Kroger one day and hear a song that touches me and I sit in an aisle and call Glenn and say, "this is it" (Kroger has the BEST music, I once asked if it was from a CD we could buy, I was given a quizzical stare, so I assume not).

Until next time, "Let it Burn"!

Trying to lower the guest list from 500 to 499...

Our revised, revised, revised guest list.

Reason #857 that I love my fiance, (and reason # 1,063 that I LOVE saying that), here we are revising upon revising our guest list, trying to get it down from like 1,000 people (I will truly invite anyone I ever spoke to), to a more reasonable number of people who actually know us. Glenn and I have gone through this list, calling each other when a name pops into our head and crossing people off when the time feels right. So tonight, it was the ultimate test, get the guest list down to a number where an actual venue can fit us in.  This guest list is tricky because I am not sure what family from NYC will actually come, and, my mother who is an angel, loves to call me to add people, like our tailor....I do love our tailor, she has been hemming my dresses since freshman year of high school, but do I think Jeanne should come to the wedding, I am not quite sure (let's be honest, she will probably be added).....  Any who, back to why this night is cracking me up. Glenn has taken our GIGANTIC list and  organized a pivot table, percentage calculation for every single person on our list, 90% for the people who think we think will come, 60% likelihood for the maybes, 35% likelihood for the probably nots and 10% likelihood that the nos will actually show up.  I mean, really, we are out of our minds and I love it!

Ok, back to the real reason you are reading this blog, because I am a hot mess. So, Wednesday night Glenn and I are signing paperwork on our new house until about midnight (yes, we are doing every adult thing possible to make sure the next couple of months are an absolute blur, we unfortunately are not doing the only adult thing I really want to do ... get a PUPPY). We go to bed and around 3am I hear someone banging on our door, yelling and screaming and cursing!! I shake Glenn to inform him someone does not seem happy with our front door and he should probably check it out.  He tells me to call 911 while he goes to investigate ( I love living with a boy, because my response to this was, "What should I tell them?", he just stared at me and went downstairs). So I called 911 and they asked me my location (I am hiding in the bathroom...duh), and what was my emergency? I informed the woman of the situation and told her my boyfriend was downstairs investigating and we needed the cops ASAP.

Please tell me why when I hung up the phone I felt the URGE to call her back and let her know that Glenn was not my boyfriend, he was my fiance, we just got engaged! As Aubrey would have told me, I wanted to level-jump her! I was half tempted to call her back, but I remembered the signs I see all over 65, "Is this a real emergency?" and decided against the call and went downstairs to make sure everything was ok. The cops came to our house and they did not care we were engaged either....oh well, we did not find who was angry at our door, but I feel like we made some new friends!

I also had the first person I did not know nor provoke compliment my ring, it was such an amazing feeling and Glenn was right there to bask in the moment, that was fun!

We visited some venues today to get a feel for what we are looking for, while we were walking the grounds, the event coordinator was describing the intricacies of the ceremony and the gardens and the magic of the day, so we asked about where we could fit in the horse and carriage...I don't think we are going to be invited to many classy establishments again.  I do think Glenn needs to ride in on a white horse, we are trying to fit this into our budget....I am not sure where can cut the guest list anymore.

Today the road to say "I DO" has been so much fun! It has been a time to really reflect on all of those who have been on this journey with us. It has also been stressful when I learned the binder I bought for all of my wedding stuff does not have pockets??!!!??! I mean really Target?!?!!?! Out of control....

I am sure something super random will happen within the next week....the next day...the next 2-3 minutes.....and I will keep you updated on the adventure!

Day 7 of surviving our engagement is complete.

It is only the beginning....

   So I have officially been engaged for 5 days now, called 150 people, checked out venues and have had two emotional breakdowns...I say I am right on course for this whole "engagement" thing! I had NO idea the amount of emotions that would go into this, yes I am an emotional person to begin with, I cannot watch a Humane Society commercial, cannot read a Hallmark card and I am an absolute mess when I see old people, but this emotion has taken it to an all time high!

   Katherine Hiegel and I were in a competition for the most bridesmaids dresses ( I have the same dress in TWO different colors, yes, I tried to argue my point with David's Bridal that I was a walking advertisement and I should get a discount, I got nowhere) but I truly had no idea what I was getting myself into. Glenn ( the future groom) bought me a wedding magazine the night we got engaged and I truly believe the first line of the checklist should have been "don't look down!"!! Wow, how overwhelming!

It is amazing to see the love and support we have received already! It is crazy how many people have asked us when the wedding is and if we are registered anywhere ( a question that Glenn is thoroughly enjoying), my favorite is, "is it everything you ever dreamed it would be?".

   My dream guy was in a blue and white jersey and a short stop for a little team we called The Yankees. I had Derek Jeter blankets, frames, photographs...I mean it was ridiculous!

I do not have blankets with Glenn's picture on it, nor do I have an autographed head shot of him, but is he everything I ever wanted...ABSOLUTELY! I could have never married Derek (yes, we are on a first name basis) for the sheer fact that he would have never let me be myself, never let me be the center of attention and surely would have never put up with pretty much anything I throw at Glenn.

For example, my emotional breakdown today happened in our closet, yep that is where I hid all day, will Glenn be shocked or surprised by this, absolutely not. Would Derek allow this, I am pretty sure he would have left me a long time ago :-)

 I thought I would start a blog to remember this process, all the ups, the downs, and the in-betweens. Glenn and I have been together for a while now and I truly cannot wait to call him my husband and see him with a ring...but all the stuff in between will be exhaustingly fun....or as my big says, "A slow death of happiness".

                                           I cannot wait to share my journey to "I DO"!